The Power of "He'ssocute" Don't Try To Fight It.

Does is get any cuter then this?

Tomorrow Moose will be 8 weeks. He's growing so fast. Sometimes it feels like years ago and then other times it seems like only yesterday that he was born.

My mom and I are planning on going to visit Mom, Dad and Moose after Christmas. I can't wait to see them again. Pray for good weather so we can make the trip!

Things have been busy here. Alexa and Ethan have both been sick and then Ethan had his tonsils out on Dec 3rd. He's still home recovering, making it a little difficult to get my Christmas shopping done and wrapped. Maybe next week.

Halloween Pumpkin Moose!

I got the greatest surprise from my fantastic IP's last night. Halloween photos!!!

How stinking cute is he!!!

He's grown so much. Moose will be 3 weeks old tomorrow. Time has passed so fast.

Moose seems to be giving Dad a hard time. Not sleeping through the day while Mom is at work. However once he's in Mom's arms he's off to dream land.

I love the little updates I get. Keep em coming Mom and Dad!

A Poem I wanted to add.

This was sent to me by a great friend of mine.
***************************************************
The time has come you see,
You have spent nine months with me.
We had a rough beginning, A little touch and go.
But you would make it fine, once you started to grow.
So many people love you so very much...I couldn't wait for the moment, you felt mommy's touch.
No, My little darling that is not me. I carried you for another and some day you will see.
I look into your sweet and oh so beautiful face, and everything freezes, this time and place.
As I slowly hand you over to your loving mom and dad, my heart is filled with happiness, but my eyes are kind of sad, for nine long months I've had you near my heart, it makes me sort of sad that we finally have to part.
But the sparkle that I see in your parents eyes and they joy I hear in their happy cries, makes this ever so easy and so right.
I have a feeling angles will be sleeping with you tonight.

The Heart Of It All

When I first started this whole journey I really had no idea what to expect. I knew the basics. I was going to be matched with a couple who really wanted a baby but for what ever reason hasn't been able to. I knew there would be hormones that I would have to take and the transfer, and the blood tests... that I understood.
One year and two weeks ago I was matched with my IP's.
They sent me a few photos and we emailed back and forth getting to know each other before we got going with the whole process. I had no idea at that time how this wonderful couple would impact my...our lives.
I feel that each step of the process has brought us closer then expected.
I feel so fortunate to have been chosen by my IP's. Honored to be trusted with their heart for 9 months.
There is just no way to put in to words all the emotion involved. With every ultrasound, pregnancy milestone, Dr appointment update and even the regular everyday conversation.
I still remember how cold mom's hands were when we went in for the transfer. I remember the look on both their faces when they first saw their baby on the ultrasound monitor at 20 weeks, and when they asked if that sound was his heart beating.
I can still hear the concern in their voices when they asked how I was doing. If I was in any discomfort and why I wasn't complaining. Why I wasn't sick in the first trimester, or How I was able to sleep in the last trimester. They even asked the OB if I really was OK. I assured them ...or tried to, that their little Moose was perfectly fine and moving about. Growing well, he just wasn't big enough to make me uncomfortable.

Mom and Dad came to our Dr's appointment on Tuesday October 12th. They came back the next day for our Non Stress Test, we made plans for them to be back for the next Non Stress Test on Saturday the 16th...until I woke up Thursday morning.

I called Mom and Dad at 7:30 am and told them that my water had broken. I've never gone in to labour on my own. Both my labours were induced. I had no idea how long it would take to go from water breaking to birth without the help of pitocin.
We had a lot of time to kill. I walked...I walked a lot. At one point the contractions were 2 minutes apart. Not the least bit painful though. We made rubber glove turkeys, my mom showed us some line dancing moves. We had Tim's for lunch, lots of talking, laughing, hanging out.
And Mom's hands were cold. I remembered her cold hands again from transfer day.
With my contractions not doing anything and being almost 12 hours from my water breaking we decided to go ahead with pitocin. We were assured that it would only take a "whiff" to get things going.
We all watched the monitors. Siobhan explained to Mom and Dad that for the contractions to be good enough they had to be mountains not little hills. However the bigger the mountain the more upset Mom seemed to get and couldn't watch anymore. At this point they were getting painful but I knew it was only the beginning.
Then they asked me to roll on my side. I remember from labouring with Ethan that this was not going to go well. Fortunately I was only there for a couple of contractions and Dr Viljoen was there, checked me and told me to start pushing.
I had Mom and Dad and my Mom on one side, and Doula and Friend Siobhan on the other. I could hear every emotion Mom was feeling and I felt them along with her, for her. Their long awaited son was on his way, this was when I get to give their heart back. This was why I decided to do what I did. "Mom open your eyes! Your son is coming!" I was SO excited for Mom and Dad. One more push and he was here. "Dad cut the cord" I know Dad was anxious about this but he did it. Moose was here. They took him over to do all the weighing, measuring, diapering and swaddling. Mom got ready to hold her son for the first time.
I got to watch as this beautiful family finally came together for the first time. I was the one chosen to make this happen for them. Such an amazing moment!

I think one of the best things we did during this pregnancy was to have Mom and Dad make audio files so that I could put them on my iPod for the baby to get to know Mom and Dads voices.
I was so happy that our hospital encourages skin to skin for warming baby, then using the warming lights. The most amazing photo I have is Mom sitting in the chair with her baby, She talking to him and he's staring in to her eyes. It's beautiful! Because of those audio files Moose knows his Mom and Dad's voices and he's easily comforted by them.

Isn't he beautiful!
He's a perfect combination of Mom and Dad.

Thursday October 14th 2010

The happy new Family!
It's amazing what people do to pass the time while waiting for someone to go in to active labour.

I woke up at 6:30 and was pretty sure my water had broken. Called my Doula and amazing friend Siobhan to let her know. Called my most wonderful mom and Fabulous IP's let them know. Then I called my most supportive husband to come back home to help get the kids off to school and me to the hospital.
The Nurse checked to make sure my water did in fact break and my dilation (4cm) then hooked me up to the monitors for a bit before going to my room. Then I walked, and walked, and walked. Dr came in around noon and checked me again. Still 4cm. Told me my options but no need to make any decisions to augment with pitocin yet. More walking. Contractions were very tolerable. Dr came back around 5pm checked me again, maaayybee 5cm. Because it had been almost 12 hours since my water broke he wanted to start iv antibiotics. I decided since I was going to be in bed anyway, I might as well start pitocin. dr didn't think it would take much. Contractions got stronger but still manageable...until about 5min to 8. Baby's heart rate started to dip with contractions, They asked me to roll on to my side, Contractions changed immediately! Dr checked me again and I was complete. I can start pushing.
Sweet little Moose was born at 8:07pm Weighing 6lb 8oz and was 20" long.

OK OK OK an up date for you all

Dad told me yesterday that I need to update. I think he has his people checking up on me. Milli (who started the blog) also told me I had to update.
Here I am. Updating.
We are in the home stretch. 39 weeks tomorrow!!!! I can't believe it! one week left...well maybe two but we're hoping for one.
anyway
Mom and Dad are close by now. They're all ready for their little boy bundle. Baby room is set up and all the important stuff is bought.
They came to my OB appointment today and met the Dr. asked some questions. Heard his little heart beating. All is going well. If I make it to 41 weeks then they'll set an induction date but until then, there is nothing left to do but wait.

I'm so excited for mom and dad. In such a short amount of time they will finally have their long awaited family. I can not wait to see the three of them together. Just thinking of it makes my heart smile. I love watching them shop for baby stuff and looking through it all in the car after.
Deciding which bottles are best for baby, what type of crib, stroller, car seat. I'm so happy that they have allowed me to be a part of all this.
Being a surrogate mom has been such an amazing experience!
I really wish there were better words to express it. I honestly could not have asked for better Intended parents.

Good Morning Mom and Dad!!

The last two visits we've had, Little Moose hasn't been very co-operative with showing off.
This morning while playing on facebook, he started moving and kicking so I thought I would try to get him on video.

I hope it shows up alright.

35 weeks and moving fast

I've said right from the start that I'm a terrible blogger.
As of Wednesday Sept 15 we will be 35 weeks. Just 5 weeks to our due date. Baby is growing great! I'm sure he's going to be a gymnast, he tumbles and rolls all around. Mom bought me a necklace that I wear everyday and she got herself the same one to wear after their baby is born. It's a black ball, with a white flower on and and a quiet little chime in it. I also have some audio files on my iPod of mom and dad talking and reading stories so I can play them for the baby and he can get to know their voices. I don't think my iPod has ever been used so much.

We had a busy summer. Hooked up the trailer and drove to St Andrews New Brunswick. Met up with my mom (who was also there visiting) for a week of camping and sight seeing. Spent some time with family I haven't seen...It's been far too long. It was great to see them again.
Alexa and Ethan had such a great time playing in the ocean and looking for various odd sea shells and riding their bikes all around the camp ground with different friends they met during their stay. On our drive home we were able to stop and have brunch with Fabulous IP's. It was great to see them again. We've been able to visit quite a bit during this journey and we're looking forward to more.
All of us are looking forward to going back. Hopefully make it a longer stay.

We bought seasons passes to Marine land this year too. Only made it there three times but we had a great time. Alexa and Ethan got to pet the Beluga whales. We rode the Sky Wheel, visited Brick City, Zooz and a couple of camping trips to Jelly Stone.

Summer is over the kids are back to school and our days have slowed down. We're starting to make plans for when the baby comes. I need to pre register at the hospital and make sure mom and dad will be close by for the delivery.
It really amazes me how fast the time has gone.

It's been awhile

I can't remember if I posted about Alexa's bet with IF. Alexa thougth for sure that the baby was a girl. IF was just as sure that the baby would be a boy, So they made a bet. If the baby is a boy Alexa has to make a chocolate cake from scratch. If the baby is a girl then IF has to make Alexa one. Alexa lost! Here's the cake she made.

My fabulous IP's came for dinner on Saturday and Alexa made desert. It turned out great! Especially for her first scratch cake.

While finishing up dinner the baby started kicking. He had been quiet all afternoon and I was starting to get worried that mom and dad wouldn't get to feel him moving. I put mom's hand on my tummy. Nothing at first but then he got going. He had a few good ones in there too. Dad didn't get a chance to feel him though.
Last night I think he was dancing in there. Lots of rolling, moving and wiggling.

As for us, we've been keeping buys. had another camping trip, My mom and niece Emily came for a week and we did some day trips to Niagara Falls Sky wheel. We had some other friends join us at Marineland and we went to Zooz.
Then Alexa and Ethan got sick. That slowed us down for awhile. They're on the mend now though. Fevers are coming down and they're starting to eat again. Sadly we had to pass on a cottage trip. Hopefully we'll be back in action for the weekend.

AAahhhh Finally! Summer is here!

Tomorrow is end of year field trips for both kids. They're pretty excited. Ethan isn't sure what his is all about but I'm sure they'll have fun. Alexa's is at Medieval times. She's been looking forward to it all year (standard 4th grade trip to wrap up their Medieval studies)
Thursday I have a breastfeeding class for my Doula training and my mom is coming to help get ready for our BBQ on Saturday. Lots of people coming. Lots of shopping and cleaning to do. I really hope it's going to be a nice day.

Did I mention I broke my van?? It was really dumb...OK I was really dumb. Backing up in to a spot and didn't look where the front of my van was and crunched in the drivers side corner on a pole. A yellow pole. Good thing is two days later it had popped out all on it's own and Jamie was able to buff off the yellow paint. Phew!

IT'S A BOOYYYYYYYY!!!

My fabulous IP's are thrilled!!!
u.s results are back. All parts are accounted for and growing well.
Lots of movement on the u.s. screen.
Baby's movements are getting much stronger. Alexa was even able to see a couple of kicks the other day. I'm sure when mom and dad come back they'll be able to see and feel some movement.

We're 22 weeks now. Only 18 to go. I think I'm much smaller this time then with my two. Pretty understandable really. Mom is tiny. Curious to see how big I'll get.

We've talked a little about delivery day. I have a birth plan template that we should go over together. Most of the questions are about labour which I can answer but there are some that deal with after the baby is born. Maybe we'll do that on their next visit.

In the mean time, I need a hobby. Dad says I can make money on eBay drawing stick people. I'm not so sure but it's worth a shot. It could be the only way of funding a pool.

20 Weeks!!!

Wow, wow, wow!!! What a great day!!
My fabulous IP's got here yesterday after a looong drive. It was so great to see them again.
My mom came to watch Alexa and Ethan while Me, Jamie and my FIP's went out for dinner to The Wildfire.
The men had beef. Jamie's prime rib was huge. He weighed his left overs this morning and it was 18oz. I think they gave him what was left because it was getting late. The women had pasta. It was yummy!!
Mom and Dad came back this morning to pick me up for the big ultra sound (Just a small complaint about their instruction. A bladder can hold 15 to 20oz. My instructions said to drink 40oz and be done 1hour before my appointment. Why doesn't someone tell these people that this makes no sense! I had about 20oz and finished about 30 min before the appointment. No bladder issues.)
The appointment went great! the tech got all the measurements she needed then went to get mom and dad. What an amazing moment, seeing them see their baby for the first time. It was quite emotional. Baby did lots of moving around for mom and dad. Gave a couple of waves. We saw his/her hands, feet, spine, little beating heart (151) arms, legs. The tech was great, she took lots of pictures took her time showing mom and dad. No idea how long we were in there it felt like a long time. I was really happy she took the time for them.
I really think it's all very real for them now. We'll be seeing them again mid July. I'll be 6.5m then. They should be able to see lots of movement then.
I forgot to ask them for a picture so I could scan it. I'll have to email them and ask them if they can bring a couple back when they come so I can scan it and post it here.
No word on gender yet. Hoping to find out on Monday or Tuesday when I call the Dr's office.

19w 3 days

The big ultra sound is only 5 days away.
I can not wait!! I'm so excited!!!
Mom and Dad are coming on Wednesday, We're going out for dinner and the ultra sound is Thursday morning.
I can't wait for them to see their baby for the first time.

Alexa and Ethan are excited to be able to feel the baby kicking. I don't think it will be long now.
I'm starting to feel kicks and not just ripply movements.

Lots going on this week. Soccer for Alexa, Tae Kwon Do for Alexa and Ethan, Mom's night out, School fun fair, Dinner with my Awesome IP's. Ultra sound and packing for our trip to Darien Lake.
Makes me tired just looking at it. Good thing I've got nap time scheduled too.

aaaahhhh. It's nice and quiet tonight. Kids are both exhausted after a fun weekend playing and swimming in London, Ontario. Didn't have to ask them twice to go to bed.

Crazy busy week this week but it's going to end off great!
Monday...could be my only quiet day... Alexa has a soccer game.
Tuesday, Dr appt, final two pieces of trim are finally being installed, kids to Taekwondo, then off to Newmarket.
Wednesday, Alexa to Sick Kids for a check up on her feet, home, Alexa soccer practice, Parent council meeting
Thursday, shopping, kids to Taekwondo, finish packing for camping
Friday, Finally the long weekend and our first camping trip with the trailer. Praying for sun!

My Doctor appointment on Tuesday is just a regular check up. Weight check (blah) listen to the heart beat... I think he'll measure for fundal height (to see how high my uterus is) oh and pee in a cup. Seriously those things were invented by men. If a woman had invented them they would have handles.

what a crazy weekend!

My Fabulous IP's told me to write about other stuff going on in life. Not just baby stuff.
So a little about this past weekend.
It was Alexa's opening day tournament Saturday. The weather was horrible!!! we had everything but snow. Game one was called off because the rain and wind was so bad. We even had a bit of hail. We had enough time to go home throw all our clothes and coats in the dryer, get dressed and over to the school where the club had pizza for all the girls. Game two to follow. The rain stopped in time to play that game but it was freezing cold! our team won 3-1. they played great!
Sunday was Ethan's Firs Communion. He looked so handsome in his dress pants, tie and white shirt. The class did an awesome job. They all listened so well during mass. I even saw Ethan singing along. We had family over after for lunch and gifts. He was so tired by the end of the day. A little boy can only behave for so long.
Sunday was also mine and Jamie's 12 year anniversary. WOW 12 years! it's crazy how fast time goes sometimes.

Feeling more movements the last couple of days too. No kicking yet but lots of flutters. I wish there was a way to show mom and dad what it's like. I love the kicking and the hic ups. I even love the big rolls they do some times, But how do you explain it to someone???
I can't wait to see mom and dad again. 20 week ultrasound is in just over three weeks. I really hope they make it for that.

14 Weeks...and 1 day

I had my first O.B appt. today. It was pretty quick. You never know with O.B's if they're going to be on time or not.
Dr Shetti was my O.B when I had Ethan...almost 8 years ago.
He's a great Dr. I was happy that i was able to get to see him again.
The appt. went well. He checked my blood pressure and heart rate, lungs and then he listened for the baby's heart beat. He found it with out any problems at all. It was right there! good and strong.
My next appt is in 4 weeks and my 20 week u.s is booked for June 3rd!

12 WEEKS!

Finally! we're 12 weeks along. It's actually gone faster then I thought it would. I guess all the appointments helped with that.

It seems I forgot to tell my IP's that I had an appointment this week. Oops. As it turned out, it was kind of a good thing as they didn't have a chance to worry about it.
The ultra sound went well. Baby is growing great ( heart rate 154) and the nt scan came back normal. Woohoo!
I was told I don't have to take the estrace or progesterone (pio) any more and that as long as my first appointment with my O.B was in two weeks I wouldn't have to go back to the clinic. So good appointment all around.

Before my ultra sound started I asked if I could get a little video with my camera once she was done all her measurements. I really wanted to send it to my IP's. I really think that seeing that little flutter of the baby's heart really makes it all more real.
I was so excited to get home and send it to them.
They LOVED it! "Dad" told me that "Mom" watched it over and over and over again. I think he was watching it with her though.

A little about my AWESOME IP's!

OK so after my last ultra sound I emailed my FABULOUS IP's the link to the blog.
They loved it...at least I hope they loved it...They told me they loved it...
BUT I had to agree to say all kinds of wonderful things about them on here, so hear it goes.

It's not really hard they are FABULOUS IP'S!
I've read around. I've heard the stories. Some IP's are OUT there. After yet another bizarre story, I emailed my IP's to thank them for not being so "out there" and allowing me my space and trusting that I will do what is best for their baby (which is officially a Fetus now)
There response "Andrea we're going to install cameras in your house so we can keep an eye on you 24/7. It will have audio too so we can make sure to comment when we see you doing something you shouldn't. Too much caffeine Andrea, You're not really going to eat those french fries are you?, Andrea off the couch and get your butt moving. You must exercise"
THANK FULLY they were kidding. (really they only mentioned the caffeine but I am who I am and I must embellish) oh FYI baby loves chocolate.

They make the greatest couple! You can see the love in "dad's" eyes when he looks as "mom" I could see the concern he has for her when we went for the transfer. They tease each other and put each other at ease. I really have enjoyed every minute we've spent together.

They're going to make fantastic parents!

10w2d

Ultra sound day!!

The ultra sound tech and Dr both said "the baby looks text book perfect!!" GREAT NEWS! my next appt should be my last at the clinic and it's the same day I get to stop my meds!! woohooo. My last shot in the butt will be April 7th. I am soooooo looking forward to that. It's also the start of my quad screen. I never did any of that testing with either of my pregnancies. I hope it doesn't talk long for the results to come back. I don't know if I mentioned it before but I'm not a patient person.

I would kill for a good craving right about now. The only real craving I had was for Pho soup. When I was pregnant with Ethan I had three strong cravings my whole pregnancy. Nachos, spaghetti and hamburgers. I could switch it up every once in awhile, keep things interesting. Right now Pho. spicy Pho. no variety there really. Maybe next trimester will bring a new craving and take away my crankies before Jamie and the kids kick me out.

8w 4d ultra sound

I had my ultra sound today. Little bean has changed sooo much in two weeks.

Dr said s/he was growing great and gave us a due date of October 20th.

It seems so far away.

I emailed my IP's right away and then sent them the ultra sound picture when we got home.

They were amazed that you could see the arms and leg buds forming. I love seeing ultra sound baby pictures!

Next appointment is March 26th.

A poem a fellow surrogate found and posted

"A Dream

Our friendship started differently,
Than most friendships I've had.
We had to search each other out,
because of something sad.

A precious child to fill your hearts,
Is what you're longing for.
Infertility has made it hard,
to open up that door.

And so a search began for you,
to find a helping heart.
So similar to my own search,
not knowing where to start.

For me, the search is special,
it requires such great care.
A couple to have a child...
the fruit my search must bare.

Now we've found each other,
so much more real it seems.
Through faith and hope and honesty,
we're moving toward your dream.

But the dream we have,
it is the same, a dream that's filled with firsts.
First smiles, first laughs, first steps, first words.
All starting with a birth.

Often times I find myself wondering what it's like,
to have to trust a stranger with such a precious life.
And though I can't imagine,all that you've been through,
I hope you know I'll do my best to bring a child to you.

Surrogacy is something not everyone can do.
But I've been so blessed in my life,
I'm drawn to helping you.
Some people call us Angels, us surro-moms to be.
But I don't feel angelic, I just feel like me.

Our journey is just starting,
and no one knows the end.
I pray it brings to you a child,
and brings to me a friend.


By Lain"

Can I whine for a minute?

I apparently need a little nap everyday to make it through to the end. It's been 9 years since I've been pregnant. It seems I've forgotten this little tip.
I was so exhausted last week from lack of nap time, I was very happy to see the arrival of March. Much slower month here at home.
Another little tid bit that...well actually shocks me that I had forgotten. Snacks! I didn't get much breakfast this morning and by the time I got home at 10:30 I almost had the shakes from a drop in my blood sugar. A quick snack, Lunch, folded Mt Washmore and a nap. I woke up feeling like crap! Same thing. I needed a snack. Had a half a peanut butter sandwich and I was good to go until dinner.
I need some good healthy snack food in my house or I will blow up to mass proportions!

Ultra sound day!!!!

This morning didn't start off too great. I didn't set the alarm right and over slept. We were getting up when we should have been leaving.
A mad rush at 7am is not a good way to start my day, let alone two kids and a chauffeur husband.
OK, back to the ultra sound.
Dr saw one strong and beautiful heat beat! Heart rate is 135!
My intended parents are THRILLED!!!
So those who pray, Pray. Those who don't, keep up the positive thoughts!

4th and Final beta

So my 4th beta is in, the number 2238. They said that my numbers were rising nicely and I didn't have to go for my 5th which is good but... I don't know, I'll have to believe them but with all my other numbers doubling in 48h and this one hadn't doubled in 72h I'm a little concerned. I'll just have to wait for my 6 week ultra sound.
Have I mentioned that I hate waiting?? Maybe a 5th beta wouldn't have been so bad.

With the Olympics on Alexa and my IP have been bantering back and forth about what team is best. Alexa thinks it's hilarious. She's having a great time emailing back and forth. He sent a picture of Alexa cheering for his team the other day. She laughed and laughed. Wanted me to do that to a picture of him. I am NOT computer savvy at all! She'll have to stick to words.

We've had a busy weekend here. My mom and Niece are visiting. Lots of shopping. I can't tell you how badly it's tired me out. I'm nodding off at 9pm. Considering I'm usually up until midnight. This is a little crazy for me.
I know, I know, suck it up princess!

Beta #3

Finally got beta number 3 in this afternoon.

We were looking for 1200's. It came back at 1348 WOOHOO! Another "milestone" crossed.

I have to go back again on Friday. I really hope they have those results back by the end of the work day. Waiting all weekend would not be a fun experience.

My ultrasound is in about a week and a half. I'm looking forward to that. Hopefully they'll give me pictures. Not that there will be much to see at only 6 weeks along. I'll scan it and share anyway.

I love baby ultrasounds.

While I wait for more betas, A little about the medication.

First I want to thank Milli and Heidi for talking me in to doing this blog and Milli for setting it up for me, and posting that wonderful post. I was a big chicken and didn't want to do a blog. Had no idea how to do it. I tried to do a web site years ago and it went nowhere. I'm a good Internet surfer/game player/facebooker but know nothing about actually using a computer. Milli and Heidi you broke me down. You girls do not give up! Thank you!

Please let me send you some muffins ;)

***************************************************

It was a little shocking to see all the medication I would be taking. They hand it to you all at once in a bag.

The bag contains

*2 pkgs of birth control pills. Kind of interesting as I'm trying to GET pregnant not avoid. BUT it's needed to sync my cycle with my IM's.
* two bottles of Estrace, estrogen tablets that I started taking the day of my lining check.
*6 antibiotic tablets I had to take three days before the transfer
*25 syringes
*25 18 gage needles
*25 25 gage needles
*alcohol wipes
*5 vials of pio (progesterone in oil) I started three days before transfer

A bag of fun isn't it!

The Estrace tablets and pio shots I have to take from just before transfer until I hit the 12 week mark. That's a lot of needles in my butt. 70 in total (I'm almost half way there).
Actually it's not that bad. I haven't had any pain from it. A little bruise on each side and a hard spot once in a while but no pain. I don't know how the ladies who have pain each day do their needles. Don't get me wrong I can't wait to be done but it's not something I dread doing each day.

Just so you know

These first few posts all have my name on them, but I'm not the one growing a baby. My friend is an amazing woman, and I've pestered her into sharing her story here. From here on out, she's going to be telling us about how it feels to be part of such a miracle for another family. I'm sure it's going to be filled with highs and lows. And Drea, all you have to do is write from your heart. It will tell the story better than anyone else ever could.
Love to you my dear friend, and thank you so much for sharing your journey with us.

Milli

Second betas

First betas about 150, second betas 315! My IP's were much happier after getting the second betas. It's Chinese New Year today and they did all kinds of celebrating. I'm glad they were able to kick back.

My mood has been all over the place. I'm sure my husband and kids are thrilled with me right now.

digtal test

Tomorrow is the big day! I caved and did my last hpt this morning. It was one of those digital tests that say pregnant or not pregnant.

Mine said PREGNANT!!! Can't wait to hear what the beta numbers are. Supposedly the higher the number the more likely you are to be carrying twins. There was one surrogate who had high betas and then found out at her 6 week u.s that there was only one. I suppose it is possible. I really hope my IM can sleep tonight. She's been through so much.

OK I'm off to bed. Very busy day tomorrow. I hope it all gets done AND we get our results with out having to wait.

it's so hard to wait

I got an email from my IM today. She did well trying to keep busy but she's pretty anxious and scared. I can't blame her though. This has been such a long and emotional ride for them both. Her hands are ice cold again.

Two more days until we find out for sure weather this is going to be the most exciting year for them. One that they have waited their whole lives for or if it's going to be the biggest disappointment. I can't even imagine how hard this will be for them if the beta comes back low or negative. I have one pregnancy test left and I'm afraid to take it in case it comes back negative.

I'm very happy to have plans tomorrow to keep busy. I have to take my car in to get the tires checked and start packing up my kitchen to get ready for the big reno. Wednesday is busy too. Betas in the morning, kitchen cupboards are coming in the afternoon. Hopefully not long after that I'll know the results.

Come on Wednesday!!

waiting

How long could these last few days possibly drag out??? In a much better mood today. Sun was shining all day, that's always a good sign.

not feeling too great. I suppose that's a good sign too! My IP's had a dinner party last night for IM's birthday. They had a great time. Drinking, eating and great conversation. I was SO happy that they had that distraction. I really wish I could tell them what's been going on with the hpt.

Oh well. I'll keep rubbing my belly. 3 more sleeps!!

mood swings

OMG I'm in a super pissy mood tonight. This has got to be pregnancy related! So a good sign right? If I'm this pissy it HAS to be a good sign!!! still 4 more days until my betas.

First signs

I'm not a patient person. I never claimed to be patient. I did a home pregnancy test (hpt) on Feb 3rd. Just 7 days past transfer. It was + very very very faint + in fact so faint that I didn't tell anybody about it until a couple of days later. I did another hpt the next morning. I was +. It was there and it was easy to see and I was thrilled!!!!!

I can't tell my IP's though. They have been through too much for me to tell them about these early tests only for it turn out to be bad news with the betas.

Friday I received an email from my IM. She told me it was her birthday on February 3rd. FEBRUARY 3RD!!! that's the day I got my first + very very very faint + hpt!!! this had to be a good sign right!?!?! this news I will share either after the betas are done or after I have my u.s. not sure yet but I will absolutely tell about it when I do.

and I wait again! four more days until my betas start.

Transfer day!

FINALLY transfer day!

My IP's are beyond nervous I remember how cold IM's hands were while waiting for the Dr to call our names. She sat right beside me with her hand on my arm the whole time. Her husband beside her. The Dr came in. Talked to the lady in the lab. He tells us that the eggs had grown from that morning (good news) and there were now three embryos. BUT the third one was a very slow grower. He felt that the third one would not take and it could not be frozen as it wouldn't make the thaw. The best option (as long as we were all good with twins) was to transfer all three and that third slow grower would help the other two to grow. This sounded very promising! All eyes on the screen watching them gather the embryo's and then we all watched them place them in just the right spot!

The u.s tech gave us each a u.s. picture of the embryo's sitting all snug.

More waiting. We have to wait two weeks before I can go for my beta's. This is a blood test that will tell us weather the transfer worked or not. I will go for 4 betas then another ultrasound. The ultrasound will tell us how many little miracles are in there.

The beginning of the journey

SO! I decided to become a Gestational Surrogate mom. I have had nothing but support from everyone I've told. All my friends and family have been absolutely wonderful!

So My Surrogacy journey started in October 2009. I was poking around on Kijiji when I came across a few messages of couples looking for a surrogate mom. I emailed one of the couples. I told them I was interested but I had no idea how to go about doing that. They emailed me back with Leia Picard's email address. She's a Fertility consultant. I actually got a response very quickly. She answered a couple questions but agreed that it would be much easier over the phone. After talking to Leia I decided this is exactly what I wanted to do.

First step was to fill out a "Surrogate information card" this is kept on file and used to help Intended Parents (IP's) find surrogates with similar ideas of how their journey will go.

Then we started to tell family and friends. First my mom. I called her and asked her if she was in a positive happy mood. Then I sprang the new on here. "mom I'm going to be a surrogate mom" She was very happy for me. She of coarse had her questions but I've been thinking of this for along time. 6 years in fact when a friend of mine had gone through 2 miss carriages.

Then my friends. Because I'm so courageous I did it all via email. I was scared they wouldn't be supportive (stupid me. I have the best friends in the world!!!!) NOT ONE person had one negative thing to say to me. I have had nothing but support and concern every step of the way.

By the end of October I was matched with a wonderful couple! They've been trying for 5 years to have a baby and went through many rounds of IVF. This was their last means to have a baby of their own. We sent emails back in forth for awhile. Then they convinced me to use Skype. Something I was not familiar with. After some technical issues we got it all figured out. Some of our conversations were quite funny we also shared recipes, talked about our home lives and we also talked about their struggle to have a family. Something they thought would come as easily as it did for so many of their friends. I knew in my heart this was going to work! It had to work! Nobody should have to struggle to have a family! I would make it possible for my new friends to have a family!!!!

The Dr's appointments started. First was a screening appt that both my husband and myself had to go to. It involved a meeting with a counselor. We talked to her for about an hour. She made sure we had thought about all the aspects involved in being a surrogate. Work, the effects on our family, how to tell our two children (which we had already done)

After the counselor appt was blood work, ultrasound and a Dr visit. 9 vials of blood, an ultrasound, and two trans vaginal ultrasounds later we got to talk to Dr. Clifford Librach. He was full of information. Told us exactly how everything would go from start to finish. I was sent home with a bag full of all the medication I would need until a confirmed pregnancy. Birth control pills, estrace (estrogen tablets) and Progesterone in oil with syringes, needles and alcohol wipes. It was a little overwhelming. Good thing I had already heard about it all from Leia and other surrogates she had introduced me to.

Next appt happened to fall on December 27th my mom's birthday. Blood work, ultrasound, Dr visit. It all went very quick. I was told to start taking birth control pills for 14 days and to come back on day two of my cycle.

The next appt was a lining check. To make sure my uterus was ready for those precious embryos that they would transfer in to me to care for and grow in to big beautiful babies! I was determined to give this couple twins!! I had seen it from the moment we started "talking" I even had friends who had dreams that I was going to carry twins! It just had to happen!

Dr L said everything looked great! I was all ready!

We went and met up with our friends for lunch (started out to be a breakfast but the clinic was pretty busy that morning) We spent the afternoon together. Talked about life in general and about the surrogacy.

My intended mom's (IM) appointment came. This is where she finds out how many eggs she had produced. They told her she had between 10-15 eggs. I told her to rub her belly and tell them to grab a partner and hang on tight.

The day of the egg retrieval came there were 12 beautiful eggs for them. Now we wait to see how many would fertilize. My IM was very scared that this wasn't going to work. I can understand her fears. They've had many disappointments over the last 5 years.

They got a call the day after her retrieval. It was sad news for my IP's only had two embryo's. They were devastated. The Dr transfers two to me and the idea is to have extra left to freeze in case the first round didn't work. This mean none to freeze and that this is our ONLY chance for this to work. With travel expenses so high, they would not be able to afford to come back again to do more egg stimulation and retrieval. Another hard hit for them.

I told them all we need is one of those to take. There is still a chance we can make this work!