A Poem I wanted to add.

This was sent to me by a great friend of mine.
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The time has come you see,
You have spent nine months with me.
We had a rough beginning, A little touch and go.
But you would make it fine, once you started to grow.
So many people love you so very much...I couldn't wait for the moment, you felt mommy's touch.
No, My little darling that is not me. I carried you for another and some day you will see.
I look into your sweet and oh so beautiful face, and everything freezes, this time and place.
As I slowly hand you over to your loving mom and dad, my heart is filled with happiness, but my eyes are kind of sad, for nine long months I've had you near my heart, it makes me sort of sad that we finally have to part.
But the sparkle that I see in your parents eyes and they joy I hear in their happy cries, makes this ever so easy and so right.
I have a feeling angles will be sleeping with you tonight.

The Heart Of It All

When I first started this whole journey I really had no idea what to expect. I knew the basics. I was going to be matched with a couple who really wanted a baby but for what ever reason hasn't been able to. I knew there would be hormones that I would have to take and the transfer, and the blood tests... that I understood.
One year and two weeks ago I was matched with my IP's.
They sent me a few photos and we emailed back and forth getting to know each other before we got going with the whole process. I had no idea at that time how this wonderful couple would impact my...our lives.
I feel that each step of the process has brought us closer then expected.
I feel so fortunate to have been chosen by my IP's. Honored to be trusted with their heart for 9 months.
There is just no way to put in to words all the emotion involved. With every ultrasound, pregnancy milestone, Dr appointment update and even the regular everyday conversation.
I still remember how cold mom's hands were when we went in for the transfer. I remember the look on both their faces when they first saw their baby on the ultrasound monitor at 20 weeks, and when they asked if that sound was his heart beating.
I can still hear the concern in their voices when they asked how I was doing. If I was in any discomfort and why I wasn't complaining. Why I wasn't sick in the first trimester, or How I was able to sleep in the last trimester. They even asked the OB if I really was OK. I assured them ...or tried to, that their little Moose was perfectly fine and moving about. Growing well, he just wasn't big enough to make me uncomfortable.

Mom and Dad came to our Dr's appointment on Tuesday October 12th. They came back the next day for our Non Stress Test, we made plans for them to be back for the next Non Stress Test on Saturday the 16th...until I woke up Thursday morning.

I called Mom and Dad at 7:30 am and told them that my water had broken. I've never gone in to labour on my own. Both my labours were induced. I had no idea how long it would take to go from water breaking to birth without the help of pitocin.
We had a lot of time to kill. I walked...I walked a lot. At one point the contractions were 2 minutes apart. Not the least bit painful though. We made rubber glove turkeys, my mom showed us some line dancing moves. We had Tim's for lunch, lots of talking, laughing, hanging out.
And Mom's hands were cold. I remembered her cold hands again from transfer day.
With my contractions not doing anything and being almost 12 hours from my water breaking we decided to go ahead with pitocin. We were assured that it would only take a "whiff" to get things going.
We all watched the monitors. Siobhan explained to Mom and Dad that for the contractions to be good enough they had to be mountains not little hills. However the bigger the mountain the more upset Mom seemed to get and couldn't watch anymore. At this point they were getting painful but I knew it was only the beginning.
Then they asked me to roll on my side. I remember from labouring with Ethan that this was not going to go well. Fortunately I was only there for a couple of contractions and Dr Viljoen was there, checked me and told me to start pushing.
I had Mom and Dad and my Mom on one side, and Doula and Friend Siobhan on the other. I could hear every emotion Mom was feeling and I felt them along with her, for her. Their long awaited son was on his way, this was when I get to give their heart back. This was why I decided to do what I did. "Mom open your eyes! Your son is coming!" I was SO excited for Mom and Dad. One more push and he was here. "Dad cut the cord" I know Dad was anxious about this but he did it. Moose was here. They took him over to do all the weighing, measuring, diapering and swaddling. Mom got ready to hold her son for the first time.
I got to watch as this beautiful family finally came together for the first time. I was the one chosen to make this happen for them. Such an amazing moment!

I think one of the best things we did during this pregnancy was to have Mom and Dad make audio files so that I could put them on my iPod for the baby to get to know Mom and Dads voices.
I was so happy that our hospital encourages skin to skin for warming baby, then using the warming lights. The most amazing photo I have is Mom sitting in the chair with her baby, She talking to him and he's staring in to her eyes. It's beautiful! Because of those audio files Moose knows his Mom and Dad's voices and he's easily comforted by them.

Isn't he beautiful!
He's a perfect combination of Mom and Dad.

Thursday October 14th 2010

The happy new Family!
It's amazing what people do to pass the time while waiting for someone to go in to active labour.

I woke up at 6:30 and was pretty sure my water had broken. Called my Doula and amazing friend Siobhan to let her know. Called my most wonderful mom and Fabulous IP's let them know. Then I called my most supportive husband to come back home to help get the kids off to school and me to the hospital.
The Nurse checked to make sure my water did in fact break and my dilation (4cm) then hooked me up to the monitors for a bit before going to my room. Then I walked, and walked, and walked. Dr came in around noon and checked me again. Still 4cm. Told me my options but no need to make any decisions to augment with pitocin yet. More walking. Contractions were very tolerable. Dr came back around 5pm checked me again, maaayybee 5cm. Because it had been almost 12 hours since my water broke he wanted to start iv antibiotics. I decided since I was going to be in bed anyway, I might as well start pitocin. dr didn't think it would take much. Contractions got stronger but still manageable...until about 5min to 8. Baby's heart rate started to dip with contractions, They asked me to roll on to my side, Contractions changed immediately! Dr checked me again and I was complete. I can start pushing.
Sweet little Moose was born at 8:07pm Weighing 6lb 8oz and was 20" long.

OK OK OK an up date for you all

Dad told me yesterday that I need to update. I think he has his people checking up on me. Milli (who started the blog) also told me I had to update.
Here I am. Updating.
We are in the home stretch. 39 weeks tomorrow!!!! I can't believe it! one week left...well maybe two but we're hoping for one.
anyway
Mom and Dad are close by now. They're all ready for their little boy bundle. Baby room is set up and all the important stuff is bought.
They came to my OB appointment today and met the Dr. asked some questions. Heard his little heart beating. All is going well. If I make it to 41 weeks then they'll set an induction date but until then, there is nothing left to do but wait.

I'm so excited for mom and dad. In such a short amount of time they will finally have their long awaited family. I can not wait to see the three of them together. Just thinking of it makes my heart smile. I love watching them shop for baby stuff and looking through it all in the car after.
Deciding which bottles are best for baby, what type of crib, stroller, car seat. I'm so happy that they have allowed me to be a part of all this.
Being a surrogate mom has been such an amazing experience!
I really wish there were better words to express it. I honestly could not have asked for better Intended parents.